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Not only do problem-centered counselors often permit their counselees to dishonor their mothers and fathers, they often encourage and participate in the process. Those who follow the Freudian formula will dishonor their mothers and fathers by blaming them for their current problems. It is sinful to do so. Christ-centered helpers do not need to talk about a fellow believer’s mother and father, but will encourage the direction away from parental blame and towards a focus on growing spiritually in the likeness of Christ.
Indeed, people love to gossip and to tell tales. Not only do they get lots of attention, but when they tell their tales from their own perspective, they may get lots of sympathy and support. Yes, indeed, the flesh may feel better. In fact, people often feel relieved to “get it off their chest,” but the feeling of relief does not make it right or even helpful to the situation. The very process of counseling encourages people to talk about other people unnecessarily. Those who claim to be biblical counselors who encourage people to talk about others cannot be performing a biblically-sound service.
Victimization robs them of gratitude for God’s unspeakable gift and thereby robs them of a close walk with Him. Turning Christians into victims weakens their faith, stunts spiritual growth, and distorts their calling. For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.... if when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps (1 Peter 2:19-21).
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