American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an by Craig Ferguson PDF

By Craig Ferguson

ISBN-10: 0061885452

ISBN-13: 9780061885457

In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson grants a relocating and achingly humorous memoir of dwelling the yank dream as he trips from the suggest streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the comedic promised land of Hollywood. alongside the best way he stumbles via a number of makes an attempt to make his mark—as a punk rock musician, a development employee, a bouncer, and, tragically, a contemporary dancer.

To numb the discomfort of failure, Ferguson discovered convenience in medications and alcohol, addictions that at last ended in an aborted suicide try out. (He forgot to do it whilst anyone provided him a pitcher of sherry.) yet his tale has a contented finishing: in 1993, the washed-up Ferguson washed up within the usa. ultimately sober, Ferguson landed a step forward half at the hit sitcom The Drew Carey Show, successful that at last ended in his function because the host of CBS's The past due past due Show. by way of a long way Ferguson's maximum triumph was once his selection to develop into a U.S. citizen, a milestone he accomplished in early 2008, in advance of his command functionality for the president on the White apartment Correspondents' organization Dinner. In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson talks a crimson, white, and blue streak approximately every thing our Founding Fathers feared.

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If things got out of hand he'd call the cops, but things never really did. We all knew that if the cops were called too often the place would be closed down, and nobody wanted that. Y-Stuart didn't let everyone inside the hall. He would insist on smelling your breath first, figuring this was the way to detect if anybody had been drinking alcohol or partaking of the only other mood modifier available, glue. Glue sniffing was wildly popular among a small group at that time. It was still a few years before the British working classes discovered hashish, which would come in cheap and plentiful supply from Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Lebanon, and it was way before heroin arrived and took the whole fucking thing ten notches lower.

Normally the stock answer would have been no, but, knowing who his big brother was and being something of a weasely politician, I handed him one of my Benny Hedgehogs and allowed him a light from my plastic Bic. Stuart, as it turned out, was nothing like Sandy, or at least not like Sandy was reputed to be. I think Stuart was probably the first natural comedian I ever met. He had a gift for mimicry and a highly infectious sense of fun, and the girls liked him, too. Soon we became friends. We would hang around after school, playing football-the real kind, using our feet-smoking cigarettes, and talking about the violence we'd be sure to dish out if we were to be provoked by, say, Catholics guys, or English guys, or English Catholic guys.

She smelled a little like peaches, and there wasn't a trace of acne on her skin. I met her at a party just after I had dropped out of school and got to talking with her. I asked if I could walk her home and she said yes. She also said that she couldn't be my girlfriend because she was going on holiday the next day with her parents and she might meet someone, but I didn't care. It was a cool, light summer night and I wanted to be around her for as long as I could. I walked her back to her house-she lived in a good part of town, near the other protestant school, the one she had attended.

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American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot by Craig Ferguson

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